Sex? No, thank you.

It has been only a year or two since I claimed the identifier of asexual. It fit me in ways I never knew there was a group for. The first example I can remember would be from when I was younger, all of my friends would talk about this movie star or that and how cute they were (which turned into sexy when we got older) and I never understood what the fascination was.

I did not hear about asexuality in a way I found relateable until I joined an LGBTQA club in college. I have had gay, lesbian and bisexual friends for as long as I can remember and even dated a host of gay guys in middle school (before they had identified as gay obviously) but had never met any asexual people.

After identifying myself as asexual, I found the AVEN forums and dropped myself into a world of new people and ideas. Having always been a very forward person and having come out as “bisexual” years before, I just informed people of my shift and went about my life.

The problem came when I met new people, people outside of my accepting bubble of LGBTQA members. Most people didn’t know what Asexual meant outside of freshman biology and I got to explain and many people’s minds were blown. I had read many post on the AVEN forums of people who said horrible things to them when they came out and considered myself quite lucky, and still do.

However, there is one experience I would like to share, in which a new coworker of mine, upon learning of my asexuality, tells me (and I quote) “I don’t believe in [asexuals]. They just haven’t had any good D.”

All I could do was stare.

It was the first time I had encountered such stupidity, face to face, on the subject of asexuality and I experienced a “I just can’t even…” moment. I was stunned into silence which, let’s be honest, doesn’t happen to me often. (I was the child reading books of snappy comeback in elementary school.)

Therefore, in hopes to prevent the cloud of ignorance from growing ever darker, I point you to the internet. It’s not like our age lives in darkness because of a lack of access to the information. If there are things someone doesn’t know and continue to not know after hearing a tidbit about them, it’s is purely the fault of said person. The internet is full of answers to (almost) all of the questions. And yes, I know the internet is also full of lies but that’s why more than one source should always be read.

Example A: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/17/what-is-asexuality_n_3360424.html
This is just a basic article about Asexuality, something to get the ball rolling and to make people aware of things they might not have known they could explore before.

Example B: http://www.asexuality.org/en/
If you are asexual and looking for people who might share your experiences, please check out the Asexual forums. If you are curious and want to see what is happening in the community, you are also welcome to have a look around as long as you’re going to play nice. 😛

As with the article I posted, this will be the first in a series on Asexuality and it’s definition, the community and problems it faces.

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About torntreasure

I'm a 31 year writer and optician. I am loud and out-spoken and I do not lie or sugar coat things. I love to write; I love to read. I like eyeballs. I want to be an artist. I want to paint the world with my words and make you glasses so you can see it! Ha ha!

One response to “Sex? No, thank you.

  1. Hi! I’ve been going through your blog posts and I find them really entertaining and interesting — and it’s awesome that you’re writing a book featuring asexual characters! There aren’t nearly enough of those out there. And by not nearly enough, I mean barely at all.

    I’m actually working on compiling real-life stories about asexuality for an anthology I’m hoping to publish. The story can revolve around literally anything to do with asexuality — whatever you think would make for a compelling read. All the details are on my blog — purplecakepress.wordpress.com. If you’re interested in participating in the project, I’d love to have you on board!

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